im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
