my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
