why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
