Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
