at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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