Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
