Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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