we made out on top of his cat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
