my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
