is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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