His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
