I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
