My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
