He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
