Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
