I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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