It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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