we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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