In the future we'll all be gay
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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