Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
