I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
