I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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