Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
