please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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