So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
