where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We have started to decorate penises.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
