K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
