she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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