best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
