So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
