playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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