don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
