Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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