At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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