you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
