in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
