Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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