I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
