I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
