Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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