I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
