My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
