I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
