If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
