phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
