There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
