oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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