how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
