dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
