I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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