Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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