Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
