Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
